Living Faithfully: Trust & Obey

After reading dozens (perhaps hundreds) of college application essays this past year, I was curious of what my Admissions Counselor self would think of my high school self.  So, I re-read my college application essays.  Wow, did I have life figured out (and wrote a pretty decent essay, if I do say so myself)!

After graduating from Wheaton College, I planned to move into the city (probably St. Louis or Chicago) and teach at some struggling public school (or perhaps Scholar’s Academy).  I would eradicate illiteracy single-handedly and inculcate a love for learning in my students.  I would equip future businesspeople, doctors, lawyers, etc., who would return to the northside of St. Louis after college and rebuild our neighborhood.  I’m a dreamer, and I dreamed big.

...and then, I decided not to teach.  And I moved back to Wheaton.

At a time when I can move anywhere in the world, why would I move to the quintessential suburb of Wheaton?  The short answer is that God plopped a job in my lap, and I would’ve been an idiot not to take it.  (And I do love my job.)  However, I still despised the suburbs.  As my roommates can attest, I ranted and raved.  Part of one such rant can be found here.  Yet, I had committed to my job for at least two years, so my external circumstances were defined.  The lingering question was: what would define my internal posture?  When I named my blog (“Inner Urban, Outer Suburban - Living Faithfully”) last December, I wanted the title to remind me of an internal posture that I seek to cultivate: faithfulness.

Regardless of externalities (location, church, friends, job, family, relationship status, whatever), I am called to live faithfully within those boundaries.  Every day, every moment, I want to give up a little bit more of my self-centered self (a bit redundant, eh?) and partake in a little bit more of the Giver of abundant life.

One of my dad's favorite songs (and has become one of mine, too) is "Trust and Obey."  I want trust and obedience to shape both my external boundaries and my internal posture.  This is the best recording that I could find (you would not believe how many mediocre Christian artists I had to wade through to find this... come on, people!).

Trust and obey, for there’s no other way
To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.

When we walk with the Lord in the light of His Word,
What a glory He sheds on our way!
While we do His good will, He abides with us still,
And with all who will trust and obey.

Not a burden we bear, not a sorrow we share,
But our toil He doth richly repay;
Not a grief or a loss, not a frown or a cross,
But is blessed if we trust and obey.

But we never can prove the delights of His love
Until all on the altar we lay;
For the favor He shows, for the joy He bestows,
Are for them who will trust and obey.

Then in fellowship sweet we will sit at His feet.
Or we’ll walk by His side in the way.
What He says we will do, where He sends we will go;
Never fear, only trust and obey.

What it means to be family

My parents started foster care a year ago.  Thus far, we've only had one baby boy for about six months.  Even though I was physically present for less than three weeks total with this little guy, he captured my heart.  When he left, there was a gaping hole.  My feelings of loss and overflowing tears astonished me with their frequency and intensity.  Visiting him at Thanksgiving only reminded me of the raw tenderness of his absence.

Perhaps I will feel differently if the next foster child doesn't smile at me adoringly, giggle repeatedly at my antics, or snuggle with me for a nap.

I doubt it.

This little boy became my brother.  He belonged in my family.  I loved hearing his soft babbling or even aggravated cries in the background of my phone calls home.  I loved hearing my mom speak "baby talk" with him.  I loved having my old bedroom transformed into a nursery and finding an assortment of swings, burp cloths, and rattling toys all over the house.

Even though he's gone, I still have four brothers.  He's in my family, though not physically present.  The next foster child will become my sibling, too.

Actually, I have more than four brothers.  I have millions.  Some of them are homeless, others are millionaires; some are white, others black; some live in the middle of nowhere, others live in skyscrapers.  I also have millions of sisters.  I don't know them all personally.  But, we belong together.

Russell Moore, the author of Adopted for Life, spoke on February 26, 2012, at College Church's Missions Conference.  I highly recommend listening to it.  "In God the Orphan Finds Mercy" reminds me that I belong.  We belong.  I love his point about how we evangelicals talk about "giving your life to God."  God doesn't want your life.  It's a wreck.  Instead, embrace what God gives: a new identity, a new family.  Fully known and accepted.

And welcoming others into that family.

Emmanuel

Emmanuel.  God with us.

Sometimes, people think that Jesus was born only to die, to pay the penalty for human brokenness and allow us to know our perfect God directly.

But, Christ also came to live.  In CCDA terms, he "relocated" from heaven and entered our world on our level.  He came in vulnerability as an infant.  He dwelt among us. 

In society's eyes, Jesus was a failure.  "Can anything good come from Nazareth?"  After achieving a decent following, he died.  What happened to establishing his kingdom, saving the Jews from Roman oppression?

His teachings did not reflect what the Jews wanted.  His teachings were hard.  "If a soldier demands that you carry his gear for a mile, carry it two miles" (Matt. 5:41; NLT).  A fiery zealot might refuse to accommodate this common service for a Roman soldier (and perhaps suffer for his defiance).  A law-abiding Jew would carry the military gear for the required one mile, probably muttering profanities under his breath.  What lunatic carries the pack for more than the required amount?  A disciple of Christ.  Christ's love is strange.  It defies human categories; it's transcendent.  For the radicals and conservatives alike, it astounds us.

Last Christmas, while my dad and I were strolling through our north St. Louis neighborhood, he commented about how hopeless it would feel to live here without Christ.  Without a Redeemer, it is hopeless.  But, Christ changes everything.  Even in my neighborhood, the buildings may still be falling down, but the disciples of Christ are slowly being transformed and transforming their environment. 

Where is hope? 

Dandelions grow through the cracks of sidewalks, amidst the glittering of shattered glass.  God's people.  A city on a hill.  A light in the darkness.

I took the following pictures within a few blocks of my St. Louis home.  Each one tells a story.

Solidarity

I love my dad.  No seriously, I think God gave me the best one.  Sorry to those of you who can't claim my dad as your own...

For the past two years, not a crumb of wheat nor a drop of dairy has touched my lips.  Ok, maybe a few morsels.  But, since I discovered my wheat and dairy intolerance, I eliminated them from my usual diet.  Although it did improve my health significantly, I've occasionally wondered why some of my symptoms remained.  Today, I learned that... not only does my body have problems digesting wheat and dairy, but it also has issues with soy, corn, and sugar.  According to my doctor (an applied kinesiologist), wheat, dairy, soy, corn, and sugar are the five most common food sensitivities.  (So, I'm normal?)

Why?

Wheat, dairy, soy, corn, and sugar are in virtually everything that comes in a package.  There's corn in marshmallows.  (Check your labels.  It's there.  High fructose corn syrup.)  There's also corn in my favorite brand of garlic salt. (Cornstarch.)  Perhaps the prevalence of these five foods in the typical American grocery store and the commonality of being allergic to them are both somewhat correlated to which crops the U.S. Department of Agriculture chooses to subsidize:



If the government pays you to grow those crops, then you'll invent a way to sell it!

I also don't think it's a coincidence that the majority of corn, soybeans, sugar beet, and sugar cane U.S. crops are genetically modified.  Then again, I also really enjoy conspiracy-theory documentaries about the U.S. food industry, such as Food, Inc., The Future of Food, King Corn (disclaimer: I haven't actually seen King Corn yet, but I like the trailer), or even Super Size Me.

However, we cannot blame the government for everything.  Nor should we.

So, what can I eat?

-Fruit
-Veggies
-Meat
-Eggs
-Beans
-Nuts
-Rice
-Potatoes

Delicious.  Wholesome.  Life-giving food.

When people discover that I am allergic to wheat and dairy (and now soy, corn, and sugar), they often think that I am deprived.  I'm "deprived" of foods that don't make my body feel good anyways.  So, I'm not terribly deprived.  I'm actually liberated.

Side note: I am not saying that wheat, dairy, soy, corn, or sugar are inherently bad for your body, depending on how they're processed and in what form it enters your mouth.  But there is a bit of common sense with food: the closer it resembles the way God made it, the more your body will be nourished (and not drained) by it.  Thus, a baked potato (unless it is smothered in dairy products, as we Americans like to do) will energize your body more effectively than a bag of potato chips.

Anyways... this post is getting really long, and I still haven't told you why I started writing it in the first place.

After I discovered these additional food sensitivities this afternoon, my daddy called me.  He wanted to support me in these new dietary challenges and will be forgoing wheat, dairy, corn, soy, and sugar in his diet during this week, too.  That simple statement of solidarity was more powerful and healing to me than any rant about the U.S. government or disappointment over adjusting my diet again.

My dad shows me, over and over again, who the Church is:

 ⁹ Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. ¹⁰ Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. ¹¹ Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. ¹² Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. ¹³ Share with the Lord’s people who are in need.
 Practice hospitality.
 ¹⁴ Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. ¹⁵ Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. ¹⁶ Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.
 ¹⁷ Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. ¹⁸ If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. ¹⁹ Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. ²⁰ On the contrary:
   “If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
   if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”
 ²¹ Do not be overcome by evil [or food allergies], but overcome evil with good.

- Romans 12:9-21

If you skimmed that passage, go back and re-read it.  It describes the Church.  It describes you and me.  Oh, but that doesn't describe me!  No, perhaps not, but it does describe Jesus.  Though we are to reflect our Lord, we are often clouded mirrors.  Thankfully, Christ slowly removes the debris stuck to our surface, spraying the glass cleaner and scrubbing vigorously.  One day, we will look like Him.

In the meanwhile, we let Him scrub and yank away our debris.  And we begin to see Him more clearly.

Often I see Him in my dad.