After graduating from Wheaton College, I planned to move into the city (probably St. Louis or Chicago) and teach at some struggling public school (or perhaps Scholar’s Academy). I would eradicate illiteracy single-handedly and inculcate a love for learning in my students. I would equip future businesspeople, doctors, lawyers, etc., who would return to the northside of St. Louis after college and rebuild our neighborhood. I’m a dreamer, and I dreamed big.
...and then, I decided not to teach. And I moved back to Wheaton.
At a time when I can move anywhere in the world, why would I move to the quintessential suburb of Wheaton? The short answer is that God plopped a job in my lap, and I would’ve been an idiot not to take it. (And I do love my job.) However, I still despised the suburbs. As my roommates can attest, I ranted and raved. Part of one such rant can be found here. Yet, I had committed to my job for at least two years, so my external circumstances were defined. The lingering question was: what would define my internal posture? When I named my blog (“Inner Urban, Outer Suburban - Living Faithfully”) last December, I wanted the title to remind me of an internal posture that I seek to cultivate: faithfulness.
Regardless of externalities (location, church, friends, job, family, relationship status, whatever), I am called to live faithfully within those boundaries. Every day, every moment, I want to give up a little bit more of my self-centered self (a bit redundant, eh?) and partake in a little bit more of the Giver of abundant life.
One of my dad's favorite songs (and has become one of mine, too) is "Trust and Obey." I want trust and obedience to shape both my external boundaries and my internal posture. This is the best recording that I could find (you would not believe how many mediocre Christian artists I had to wade through to find this... come on, people!).
Trust and obey, for there’s no other way
To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.
To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.
When we walk with the Lord in the light of His Word,
What a glory He sheds on our way!
While we do His good will, He abides with us still,
And with all who will trust and obey.
Not a burden we bear, not a sorrow we share,
But our toil He doth richly repay;
Not a grief or a loss, not a frown or a cross,
But is blessed if we trust and obey.
But we never can prove the delights of His love
Until all on the altar we lay;
For the favor He shows, for the joy He bestows,
Are for them who will trust and obey.
Then in fellowship sweet we will sit at His feet.
Or we’ll walk by His side in the way.
What He says we will do, where He sends we will go;
Never fear, only trust and obey.
What a glory He sheds on our way!
While we do His good will, He abides with us still,
And with all who will trust and obey.
Not a burden we bear, not a sorrow we share,
But our toil He doth richly repay;
Not a grief or a loss, not a frown or a cross,
But is blessed if we trust and obey.
But we never can prove the delights of His love
Until all on the altar we lay;
For the favor He shows, for the joy He bestows,
Are for them who will trust and obey.
Then in fellowship sweet we will sit at His feet.
Or we’ll walk by His side in the way.
What He says we will do, where He sends we will go;
Never fear, only trust and obey.